Friday, November 18, 2011

Walking by Faith, feeling it's by Stupidity

In Walking by faith,  I left my job in February, not knowing what all I would do, but believing that  I was called to the youth here in Decatur, TX. What has become of this?? I find my self without a Church, and with out a Ministry now. Having stepped down due to the leading of the Lord, and wishing for the betterment of my own family. So now I am here, no career, no clear direction, struggling as a man for my idenity. My concern is, (A) am I doing right for my kids now, and (B) how have I left the youth I have been ministering to?  Clearly we walk by faith, so I have left with out knowing.. And in not knowing, The Still Small Voice echos that "this is the way walk ye in it." But everything in the world SHOUTS, "You're an Idiot, a Looser and a Failure."
  So in my reading today, I stopped, and began to prayed. I asked God to bless my sons. That a door would open for them. That a way would be made for them to use their hearts desire and giftings for the Kingdom, and that I would not cause them harm by not being able to afford to give them stuff this year or really provide for them as I have in the past. Also, to help us financially during this time of change.
  After that, and writing in my Journel, I started Reading in a obscure page in the bible, as I wasn't normally reading in Psalms, but the Bible was opened to it, and I started reading in the middle to the end starting with Psalms 37:19 And what happened next seemed like God spoke directly to me.. "The days of famine they will have abundance." Didn't I just pray for my kids because I couldn't meet their desires? Didn't I just pray because I don't know how I will provide?
Then Vs 23: "The steps of a man are ordered by the Lord and he delights in His way." Wasn't I asking God to open a door for my kids to use their gifts, to make a way for them to follow Him?
Vs 24: "When he falls he will not be hurled head long, because the Lord holds his hand." The lord is going to watch over my kids for me? Really?? Are you now speaking this plainly to me?
Vs 25: "I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread." Wasn't I just questioning everything before I started reading??? How will I provide for them?  How will I take care of my family? ??
  Psalms 42:5" Why are you down cast O my soul, why are you disturbed with in me?  HOPE in God for I will yet praise him for the help of his presence." 
  Yes, God does speak. Yes God is real. Yes He does use His Word to speak to us. Yes, "He is faithful who has made the Promise, He will also Bring it to PASS."
 Trust.. Rely on.. Be Confident in. Be Assured. Rest on.. And Know that He is God.

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